This one's for you, mom: GRAY PARIS

I probably should have looked up how to say "I have a titanium coil in my heart" in French before I went to the Immigration Office to get this chest X-ray so they could make sure that I don't have TB. I explained what it was using crazy hand gestures and the vocabulary of a 5 year old and then the doctor told me he spoke English. Thanks dude.

This is what 6 euro dental floss looks like. I will never not check the price of regular household items again.

Here is a beautiful view from the bus stop near one of the schools I work at.

Picturesque.

The pedestrian crossing signs show people running because if you walk across the street you are sure to get run over.

This is the gym at the other school I work at. It's called Paul Langevin. I should probably look up who he is because lots of stuff is named after him.

This is the really helpful bus map/map of the town I work in.

Sarkozy love in the train station.

My british friend told me it was Guy Fawkes' day last week and explained that part of the celebration is to build bonfires. I was like "Oh I totally saw a pile of burning trash on my way to work today, was that what it was for?" and she said "No, that's just because you work in a bad neighborhood." Oops.

We meet again, vandalized car.

Heck is my new favorite tag. Besides Texas which is all over my neighborhood.

No filling up your cup of water or swimming laps in the fountain!

I can barely resist the urge to swim laps.

Le Petit Palais.

There are palm trees in all the fanciest gardens in Paris.

This garden is in the courtyard of the small palace.

Reminds me of Portland. The color of the sky, I mean.

Really dramatic illustration of what will happen to you if you open this door. You will be struck by lightning.

Man purses are so hot right now.

Pee troughs in the metro stations are so hot right now.

I bought this dubbed French version of the movie "The Road" from a guy in the metro for 1.50 euro and Molly Parker was in it briefly.

Park in the town I live in.

You are not allowed to bring your dog to the park, play ball games, or ride your bike in the park. It's full of bored middle-aged men smoking cigarettes because that is the only thing you are allowed to do in it.

Le Kremlin-Bicetre's city hall.

The kids at school think that city means neighborhood because I guess in French city is slang for neighborhood. One kid asked me why it's called New York City and I told him it was because it's a city and he was really confused. Then a girl told me her brother had seen New York City from the train on his way to Paris and I was really confused. Anyways, I live in quatre-vingt quatorze city.

Claude, the principal at one of my schools explained to me that the French soldiers who fought in WWI were nicknamed the hairy ones (les poilus). He didn't tell me why. But I guess this guy was the last living French soldier who fought in WWI and he died in 2008 at the age of 110 in le Kremlin-Bicetre so they renamed this road after him. Also, the teachers were surprised that I was unaware that November 11th is the anniversary of the signing of the armistice between France and Germany at the end of WWI and that's why I have another day off. I don't remember getting out of school for Veterans' Day when I was a kid, which might be why I forgot about the holiday.

More liberal park in my town where you can do whatever you want.

This is who I bought my sheets and quilt from.

Ivy.

The butcher takes a 3 hour lunch break.

My favorite neighborhood moped.

The dudes repaving this road in my town mix one bag of cement at a time by hand in that wheelbarrow. I hope they finish the project before the apocalypse in December 2012.

More ivy/another moped.

The weekend street market in my town.

The kids at school asked me if ever listened to French rap. Maybe I should check out this Booba Lunatic guy I keep hearing about.

There are so many ways to die while taking the metro.

Thank god SAW 3D is playing here.

Cars here are so small that when they park on the sidewalk they don't even block the way for pedestrians.

I can't tell if these fountains they have everywhere are drinking fountains. I tried to drink out of one once but I mostly just sprayed myself.

Bagels are really rare and expensive in France.

I went to the hunting museum for free because it was the first Sunday of the month so lots of museums are free.

Cute sleeping (dead) fox)

When cats attack.

The taxidermist could have made him look a little tougher.

There was a three year old boy crying in this room telling his dad that the animals' eyes were following him. He must have been thinking of the Mona Lisa.